I have been a very bad blogger. I was working on a couple of stories for the Vagabonding section, but I decided that they were not up to my standards, which may still be quite low. They were written more in a style of “I went here and did that”. Such a style seems to be a terrible way to write, so I’ve been sitting down and attempting to see what parts of the story I want to focus on and what emotion or idea am I attempting to share. I should be finished with them soon. I don’t mind publishing something a little rough, but what I wrote didn’t even feel like stories.
Also, my real job has been busy, so I’ve been battling exhaustion.
When I originally had the idea to write this blog, I talked to a friend about having a section where I could write about the difficult bouts of anxiety and depression that strike me down. Those depression cycles have returned, but I’m reluctant to discuss them. I was making a short story out of one of these cycle that is connected to trash I found at a state park (Trashy Story, anyone), but I’m cautious about posting that one as well. Or it’s better to say that have anxiety over it–and so many other things.
The trick is that writing has usually been a therapy for me, but there are times when I can’t even write, because I have difficulty expressing madness when its fresh and unfiltered. And sometimes everyone just wants to give advice. FYI: That’s an abysmal idea.
What I mean to say is that this site is not dead. I’m working behind the scenes and battling inner demons (hmm, just like a real writer, I suppose). So, I just need a few more days of staring out the window while listening to Gordon Lightfoot. Maybe this note to you and myself will be enough to light a fire under my ass.